I started to write about why some people heal and others don't. Because I am a guide who takes groups to Brazil to visit Spiritual Healer John of God, the question inevitably arises, “Why are some healing requests granted and some not? Why them and not me?”
Then Jimmy Carter announced he had cancer, a melanoma that had spread to his brain. A week or so after that, Wayne Dyer passed away in his sleep. Two very spiritual and aware men, facing all of our greatest fears.
Jimmy, who will be 91 on October 1st, has decided to treat his condition medically, adding with a peace typical of his faith, that he will be OK with whatever happens. Clearly he is not ready to quit living yet, but he accepts there is a bigger agenda that may over-ride his wishes.
Wayne had been diagnosed years ago with leukemia and turned to healing with John of God and other natural cures rather than traditional treatment. He claimed that it worked and indeed, on September 1st, his daughter announced the autopsy had found him free of leukemia. Wayne had been healed. He was “OK.” And still he was ready to go.
Maybe healing isn't really the conversation that needs to happen. It is a modern, human concept that illness and disease are wrong, bad, and abnormal. Too frequently I hear people ask someone who has just received a hard diagnosis, “So, why do you think you manifested that?” To me, it is a question full of shame and blame, as if they failed in some way.
Maybe the conversation that needs to happen is, “What are you choosing to experience?”
What is healing, anyway? How are disease or accidents related to learning and growth? Who heals, and why or why not? Certainly, when we find out we have an illness, we want it to go away, but even with intervention it doesn't always happen.
Maybe healing has nothing to do with the disease going away. Maybe healing is about allowing the illness or vulnerability to open our hearts, to teach us to receive, to love, to develop courage, acceptance, surrender. Maybe we have to love ourselves. Maybe we have to take our next step.
It is very hard to accept we planned our experiences before we came into these bodies. Like a kid in a candy shop, we picked and chose what would please us, delight us, and what would make us grow. We are not victims. For sure, we may wonder now, “What was I thinking?” because we do this selection process while between bodies and we forget! The state of Human Being is not for the feint of heart.
Certainly, even after we come into our bodies we are still creating. We still get to choose, to break agreements, and make new plans. But because we are first and foremost Spirit in a Body and here to discover, learn and grow, even when our human self wants something different because of our ego or avoidance or programming, etc., our real Self as Spirit will remain true to our deeper Spiritual plan.
When we look at what we have created in our lives, if we are willing to be honest with ourselves, we will be able to see what we have come here to experience. Look at what you've got. That is what you want - because at this present moment it is teaching you something.
For me, I know that I came to this life to experience trusting that I will be provided with everything that I need. Not everything I want, certainly, but everything I need. Sounds like that would be a cake walk, right? Relax, kick back, know that it is taken care of. But I gave myself a good dose of self-sufficiency, independence, and some traumatic brushes with poverty along the way to make it a huge challenge. I made it very difficult for me to be able to ask for help, and I added feeling ashamed to need help, seeing it as a weakness, into the mix.
You've got to be amused! Remember you created these challenges in between bodies, forgetting how hard it is to have a physically limited body, emotions, mental aberrations, and other Human Beings to deal with! But Spirit knows best. You are always bringing yourself the perfect next step.
What have you handed yourself as Spirit? It's seldom found in the “what” or “why” of whatever plagues you. “Why do I have cancer?” “Why did I lose my job?” “Why was I abused?” “Why am I alone?” These are not useful questions.
Maybe the conversation is about the “gift.” If we follow what is given with an open mind and heart, the gift is revealed. “What is living with cancer changing for me?” “What can I do now I've lost my job?” “What will change for me if I forgive my rapist?” We usually can't see it in the moment it is happening because we may be scared or raw or traumatized. But if we trust and embrace the experience the gift will be revealed.
For Wayne, I imagine his gift was the peace, laughter and wisdom he gets to carry with him into his next life. He has stated many times over that he was ready for his next big adventure. Now he is on it. Really. It's not just a death platitude. He got on the train and is on his way.
For Jimmy, seems to me he's in the match of his life. Game's on, and he is 100% ready to show us all what it's like to win with faith. He's trained through the ups and downs of life, and his gift is his certainty. It is so not about live or die. It is about faith and grace.
Our only real illness is forgetting that we are endless, eternal and One. That we are living exactly what we had planned so that we could experience what would grow us, what we can bring to share with one another. If there is any healing to be done, it is from that amnesia.
Wayne and Jimmy, thanks for remembering, Thanks for being present with your diseases and the gifts they brought you. Thanks for your courage, and for showing us the steps as we walk each other home.